Silver and Gold
by Black's Crystal
Summary: Sirius is about to find out that Remus is gay and considering going out with Mike Phillips, which Sirius is not happy about but why? WARNING slash and adult situations later in the story. Sirius’ pov. MWPP era ending between Gof and OotP AU
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer : I don't own Harry Potter or anything mentioned about the Harry Potter books

A/N Hey I'm black's crystal and this is my first story on fanfiction so be nice please

reviews equal faster update

Summery: Sirius is about to find out that Remus is gay and considering going out with Mike Phillips, which Sirius is not happy about but why? WARNING slash and adult situations later in the story. Sirius' pov. MWPP era … might be an AU at the end

SILVER AND GOLD

Chapter one

"James" I yelled down a busy corridor, as I saw one of my best friends disappearing into the crowed, James had missed Transfiguration, the idiot better not be pulling pranks with out me!

"Oh, hi Sirius" he says with his hazel eyes sparkling "I didn't see you" of cause you didn't chimes a sarcastic voice in my head

"Where were you? You missed transfiguration" I asked him simply, he stops a moment ruffling his hair, clearly trying to think his way out of not telling me something, he sighs gently

"I was with Remus …" Moony … but Moony should have been in ruins, why the hell was he skiving? "He was upset about something…" James continues and drifts off at the end of his short statement there is definitely something he's holding back.

"What's the matter with Moony?" I'm slightly puzzled and slightly worried not even the morning after the full moon did Re miss classes, James' eyes wander out of my gaze, he is now looking intently at the wall behind me

"Moony likes some girl… he doesn't think he's got a chance, something about her not being his type … he's bit upset about it all" James said still staring fixedly at the wall behind me, why didn't moony say any of this to me? He normally tells me everything, it feels as if James is defiantly holding something back … what is that feeling in the pit of my belly that is making me feel so unsettled?

"Who is she?" I need to know who is prefect enough for my moony … the girl to finally take him away from me

"Some Revenclaw" a list of Revenclaw girls is going through my head, non good enough for Moony, James' eyes drift over to my other shoulder, suddenly looking hollow and shadowed "He's ok now, I gave him some chocolate, he's as good as new" James said grinning, that's our Moony anything for chocolate

"Ok but this girl must be crazy" I mutter quietly "You heading back to the dorm?" He had THAT look in his eyes again, the sparkle that he gets when he is planning something, which was normally no good

"No I have something to do" he stated simply, I gave him a questioning look before he turned on his heels and walked off down the corridor, leaving me alone with my thoughts feeling slightly clueless.

Later that night I awoke to the sound of hushed voices, the deep red curtains of my four poster bed were open, the illuminated clock on my bed side table, shone like a beckon through the darkness, my eyes focused on the clock, it was 3:17 am. I suppressed a groan, wanting nothing more than to roll over and go back to sleep … that was until I heard what the whispering voices words started forming in my sleepy mind

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know the person in question is not interested in a person like me"

"I meant what are you going to do about mike?"

"Mike's a nice guy … he's not you know who, but I can't have him … who knows I might learn to love mike eventually…" REMUS IS GAY, oh my god, does he mean mike Phillips, the 7th year Griffindore? He's a year older than us, he's far too old for Moony, and moony doesn't love him … he loves someone else …but who?

"But the werewolf might not agree" my sleepy head is finally awake and my mind is reeling, Remus is gay and is considering going out with Mike Phillips

"Well the werewolf is used to not getting what it wants" the grate emotion that would have been over following this statement was blocked out in a stony hard tone that clearly stated Remus was not happy about not getting the guy he really wants "I guess I just need to think about everything … I'm tired and I am going to go to bed, night James" conversation over RE was closing himself off he obviously didn't want to talk about it any more, what ever it takes I'm going to fix things for Re, he shouldn't be coming out with some guy he doesn't love

"Ok Remmy sleep well" I hear James' reply as he lightly jumps off of the bed, my eyes snap shut as James makes his way towards his own bed. I hear James pull his curtains around him before reopening my eyes and staring into the blackness of the room, my last thought before going into a dreamless uneasy sleep was Remus is gay.

The next morning at breakfast I entered the grate hall and there was Phillips sitting next to Remus whispering something in his ear, jealousy ran through me faster than wildfire, had Remus already chosen Mike? Who he did not love just thought he was nice? Remus should be with the person that he loves I didn't notice until it was too late I have been glaring at Mike since I first saw him this morning, Remmy was looking at me strangely, eyebrow raised in an unasked question

"Morning" my greeting whole heartedly directed at Remus, I smile gently

"Hey" Remus said cutely … did I just describe something Remus did as CUTE!

"Hello" Mike said rather stiffly glaring at me … what did I do to piss him off?

"What's on the agenda for today?" I ask a little too innocently while buttering my toast

"Me and Remus are going to study in the Library" are they together already?

"Oh come on Moony you can't study all day, its Saturday" I whine, giving him my best puppy dog eyes

"What do you suggest we do?" Remus looks at me sternly … ok I'm defiantly getting the impression I have done something wrong, oh well I'm Sirius black I can charm my way out of life and death situations.

"How about a nice game of gobbstones?" Remus smiles I know I've won, I'm grinning because I'm imagining Mike covered in green slime, it is my duty to make Remus see how undesirable Mike is

"I don't think Gobbstones is such a good idea" bloody stupid Mike, why can't he keep his fat Gob shut?

"I suggest we play exploding snap" that moony for you always compromising, I wonder if I can charm the cards to make Mike explode? I smile at Mike innocently, glad at the 'study' date I just ruined

"Its ok Remmy I'll catch you later, I've really got to get my charms essay started" Mike said to Re taking his hand and smiling gently, a spark of anger runs through me. How dare he call Remus Remmy that's my name for him, and he can bloody well stop touching Remus as well he doesn't love you, you idiot, I'm openly glaring at Mike's retreating back

"Siri, what the matter?" Re is looking at me in a confused manner, my face instantly softens

"Nothing" I say a little too quickly "What about a game of chess now it's just the two of us?" Re nods, and I'm happy I now have Remus to myself

"Re" I say softly trying to draw his attention away from the chess game that I'm losing badly

"Yes Sirius" in that tone that made it obvious he new I wanted something, I absentmindedly told my queen to move across the board to take Remus' castle

"I know," I said hoping that he would understand and that I wouldn't have to say anything else

"What do you know?" Remus asked in a tired tone that suggested that he thought I that I thought I knew everything

"That your gay and your considering dating mike, when you don't love him … you love someone else" Remus looks beyond shocked I probably shouldn't have approached this topic like this but I never was any good at keeping my mouth shut, I've always been impulsive like that. Remus' mouth is opening and shutting slowly like a goldfish out of water, if this wasn't such a serious conversation I'd be laughing at him right now "Re say something please" his eyes are glazed over and unemotive

"How did you find out?" good he's not denying anything

"I over heard you and James talking last night," I have an impulsive need to hug him and comfort him, tell him everything is going to be all right. But maybe he needs space, but the last thing I want right now is for him to feel rejected, his eyes shine with unshed tears "I don't care if your gay, I however do care if you come out with a guy you don't like, like that, Mike's just not for you" I don't know why I'm getting so hung up on Re going out with Mike

"What's wrong with Mike? I didn't say I don't like him, I said I didn't love him" I can already see that Remus is going to try and justify his and Mike's 'relationship', but I'm not going to let him!

"If you're in love with this other guy, it's hardly a good idea to go out with someone else, it just wouldn't work" his lovely honey eyes have just lost their light, they now look dead and hollow, did I say something I really shouldn't have?

"What do you want me to tell the guy I'm in love with, who is so not into me because he's straight that I love him? Purely because YOU don't want me to go out with Mike who is gay?" his eyes are boring into mine the anger he is feeling clear in his body language and voice "Get a life Sirius, not all of us can get anyone we want, not all of us are as insanely perfectly beautiful as you" he said with pure venom before stalking up to the boy's dormitory. Ok being an idealist isn't always what people want to hear! But Re is gorgeous I don't know what he's talking about … he could turn any straight guy gay … really shouldn't be thinking about this he's my best friend, I'm just thinking this because I just found out he's gay. I think before heading out of the common room, with the purpose of wondering the school grounds lost in my thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Silver and Gold

Chapter 2

Later that night I came back to the dorm to find Remus, James and Peter already in bed, Re's curtains were open, his face is half berried in his pillow, his honey coloured eye lashes are resting gently against his cheeks. He looks pale too pale, when its 3 weeks until the full moon, his eyes are puffy and dark, he must have been crying. My hand brushes over his cheek, his face moves towards my hand as though he unconsciousness is enjoying my affection, he begins to stir, I snatch my hand away, his eyes are now moving behind his eye lids, but he does not wake. Rolling over in his sleep he gently whimpers

"Sirius" its barely audible but I hear him, he must be dreaming about me, he snuggles back into his pillow again … but he whispered my name, what does this mean? I move towards my own bed not very euphuistic about being away from Remus, stripping down to my light grey blue boxers, I shiver at the cool autumn air as it engulfs me like a lonely illness. I slip into my bed, with its blood red sheets that should be so warm but are freezing against my warm skin, I close my eyes and fall into an uneasy sleep.

I awoke to someone whispering my name

"Siri" I roll over hitting the body next to mine, the sun is shining through my closed eye lids and I grumble is annoyance. Hold it body next to mine! My eyes snap open, bit I quickly regret it as the sun pours into my sleepy eyes stinging them to an extent that I can barely keep them open. As my eyes adjust, the figure of Remus becomes clearer to me, we're lying dangerously close to each other, his elbow is resting on the pillow as it hold his smiling head up and I can feel his warm breath on my face

"Remus what the hell are you doing in my bed?" I think I should have said that in a more angry tone as his smile widens. His hand caresses my cheek before his fingers ease into my hair and stop as they grab the back of my head pulling me towards Remus' face where his lips are looking full and pouty, before I even have a chance to blink Re is crashing our lips together, his lips moving against mine, I KISS HIM BACK moaning far to eagerly into his lips.

Suddenly I jolt awake, I'm in bed alone and its still very dark outside, it was a dream … it was all just a dream, I try to convince myself, I snuggle uneasy into my pillow, I need some sleep I'll think about this in the morning.

The next morning, I'm sitting staring out of the dorm window … not really look at what's going on just thinking, think about the dream I had last night, I kissed him back and I liked it. Does this make me gay? That's stupid its just a dream it doesn't mean a thing, I try to convince myself, I snap myself out of my trance, Peter James and Remus have all already gone down to breakfast, standing from my defensive position on the chair, I move slowly in the direction of the grate hall for breakfast, I may not feel like any food but I haven't eaten since yesterday.

As I enter the grate hall I spot Remus, he looks angelic in the morning sun feminine but in a beautiful way … not that I'm calling him a girl, now would be a good time to avoid him, after all that was said yesterday and then the dream as well but its as if I'm being drawn to his lips in a similar forceful was as in the dream, someone or something is bending me against my will and leading me to him. Act civil, and try not to fixate your self on his lips, too late I'm standing over him looking like a lemon staring at his lips, which are covered in crumbs, his tongue darts out and in one quick yet very sex movement there all gone. Crap … I have to admit that these thoughts aren't exactly the thoughts of a straight guy! I'm gay and I have a crush on one of my best friends … crap, crap, crap what the hell am I going to do?

"Umm Paddy, are you going to sit down?" James asked me, in a slightly all too amused voice, does he know? How the hell can he know I only just figured it out myself, Remus is glaring at me he must still be mad … have to get out of here.

"No, I have to get that essay for potions done you know the one on the shrinking potion?" James looks at me in utter disbelief

"Pad's are you feeling ok? Its Sunday morning and your doing home work" I smile, to further make him believe this stupid act just to get away from Remmy, who is so mad at me … why do I feel like pouting … oh yes I'm a stupid spoilt child who can't have a 'toy' he wants

"Even the most naturally intelligent of us all have to work every now and then Prongsie" before turning on my heels and heading out of the grate hall at grate speed

I'm now in the back of the library, huddled in a corner sheltering myself from the world, holding my quill loosely in my fingers staring into space, thinking of nothing other than the colour or Remus' honey gold eyes. A pang of pain goes through me as I think about who Remus might be in love with, who's good enough to take him away from me, I am suddenly very rudely brought out of my pouty whining thoughts at the sound of mike Phillips' voice

"Re … Merlin you're so beautiful" if I was in my dog form right now I'd be growling and baring my teeth in the direction that his voice came from

"Shhh mike someone might hear you" Remus says with a giggling tone to his voice, please, please don't let them be together, not now, not when I've just relied I love him, what the fuck did I just say LOVE, Sirius black does not fall in love, I'm soooo screwed

"I want the world to hear, Remus Lupin the cutest gay guy in Hogwarts has agreed to be my boyfriend" can I hear kissing I think I'm going to cry and punch things and run out of here like the big poofy girl I now am. I don't want to be noticed, so I exit slowly and quietly and the nearest exit, a single tear falls down my cheek, tears blur my vision, what the hell did I expect, RE gorgeous of cores he was going to find someone I just wish it wasn't Mike and I wish it wasn't now! I think before hitting something solid, I had ran into my best friend James Potter, weeping like a girl … fan fucking tastic, I think my day has just been made

"Pads what's the matter?"

"Nothing" I lie wiping my eyes, in the manliest fashion I could master

"Bull your crying" dur not shit Sherlock

"I don't want to talk about it" I say rather bluntly, hoping he gets the message and leaves me alone!

"Well your going to have to, because I'm not going to leave you alone until you tell me what has upset you!" he said firmly, I know how stubborn James is I'm never going to get rid of him

"I'll tell you but not here" James will understand he supported Remus through his unrequited love so why not me … I don' have to name any names

"Ok let go for a walk out side" we are both silent as we walk toward the entrance hall, and out on the school grounds

James turns to me with a stern look in his eyes "Ok are you going to tell me why you were crying your eyes out now?" his eyes are boring into mine as if he's trying to read my mind, I avert my eyes staring intently at the floor feeling that our rolls of the past few days had suddenly been reversed and I was now hiding something

"I've just realised something" hoping that he will allow me to give as little away as possible, I'm watching a blade of grass near my foot move in the wind, bloody hell its cold, why couldn't we have gone to the dorm room?

"What have you realised Sirius?" he says gently, I lift my head to meet his now much softer hazel eyes, god this is hard to say, I just wanted to keep this to myself for a bit, just a bit longer, but I couldn't

"That I'm gay" I avert my gaze "That I'm in love with a guy, who has just started going out with someone" my voice is braking, I take a deep breath "I heard them in the library, that's why I got upset and that's why I was crying" suddenly I can't hold it in anymore and I start to weep, no weep is not strong enough … ball, I bring my hands up to my face in shame, James quickly hugs me, bringing his arms around me one in my hair so that my head is now on his shoulder as I sob he whispers

"Shhh its ok Siri we're going to sort it, everything is going to be ok" but I just cry

Author's note: I was a bit unsure of how to end this chapter I had originally intended to put what is now the begging of chapter 3 at the end of chapter 2. However obviously changed my mind, I thought that Sirius revelation and James reaction was a nice end to this chapter. The end of this story happens around the time of tOotP in which, as most people should know Sirius dies, which is why I have said in the summery that it might turn into an AU. Chapter 3 might take a bit longer as I think it is the longest chapter yet

Reviews would be nice and might encourage me to write faster lol


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Author's note: original plan has been changed chapter 3 has been cut into 2, this is the first part.

I didn't realise that I wasn't accepting Anonymous reviews (sorry) please review Anonymously if you want to– all comments good and bad are appreciated – I like feed back

The song/poem in the first paragraph is mine, from a poem I wrote 18 months ago its called Tell Me (its not the complete version just the first verse)

**Projectshaddow** –lou- (my lovely co writer to some of my other stories (not this one)) I told you not to read it and if your reading **_this_** your in big trouble (LOL) she just wants to see what I'm up to on my own hehehehe

Silver and Gold

Chapter 3

It's a few days since Remus and Mike got together, I haven't seen much of them, but I have been avoiding their company. I'm lying in my bed, staring intently at my canopy, I can't sleep, and I don't want to! 'He' comes to me in my dream, saying and singing words of love

'Tell me I am free to be

What I want to be

Tell me I don't have to do

What I don't want to

You don't relies

I'm cold behind these eyes

In the dead of night

I want you to hold me tight

Setting me free …

Letting me be …

Whole again'

Its all too real, his heat, no that's the wrong word, his protective warmth penetrates my cool hard shield … Before I wake cold, alone and in pain, again. I can't stand lying here anymore, waiting for Re to get back from where ever he is with Mike, I need a distraction, I need something to do. A midnight walk to the kitchens might take my mind of Re, and what Mike could be doing to him, jealously runs through me like a knife, a cold sharp blade right through the heart, I take James' invisibility cloak, I don't really want to be caught by Filch (I know that isn't the name of the caretaker in the MWPP period but I couldn't remember what it was and thought it might take a while to read all of book 5 to find out – even though I did have a try!) right now. I through the cloak over me before heading down to the common room, taki8ng the stairs slowly and cautiously, I didn't want to be detected by anyone! Even if it was 12:30, I poke my head around the corner of the boy's dormitory staircase, and what meat my eyes made my heart shatter. Mike was on the sofa, and he was by on means alone, his well-built muscular figure was pinning MY Remmy to that sofa, his thin lips Viciously attacking Re's, his long dirty blond hair acting like a curtain to their faces, as he mashes their lips together. Mike's lips are moving down Remus' jaw, and no matter how much this sight is killing me, I'm frozen to the spot staring fixedly at the scene unfolding before me. Mike is now licking and nipping at Re's neck, Re's eyes are closed, his honey blond eyelashes spread across his cheek, Re moans and whispers something, I'm too far away to hear, Mike freezes, his deep chocolate eyes snap open

"What did you say?" he says with what must be a lot of control, but he looks deeply pissed, his face almost twisted in anger, as he climbs off of Remus' body

"Sorry id didn't mean to" Re says rather sincerely he looks a bit upset

"You were thinking about HIM the whole time weren't you?" this didn't sound like a question more of an accusation

"No I wasn't it just slipped out, I want to be with you Mike, I wouldn't be here if I didn't" now any one who knows Remus knows when he's lying and that one was a total whopper, I know for a fact that Re is in love with someone else and that he barely even likes Mike, why is he with mike again … oh yeah he's gay

"I can't believe you Remus …that you would be kissing me and thinking about HIM" Mike breathes deeply as though trying to clear himself from his anger " you need to choose Remmy, either you hang on to your dreams of you and HIM, or you move on, and be with me, I can't be second best to a fantasy and I won't" Mike said his body was rigid and even thought the look of anger had gone from his face, it was obviously not gone from him. Remus said nothing more as Mike made it up to the boy's dorms, he just sighed in a defeated manor, lent forward, put his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. Mike is suck a bloody idiot, he has Remmy, ok Re is thinking about another guy no one would be thrilled at that but at least he has him … that bull and I know it I just like calling Mike and idiot. Re pushes his hair back with his hands taking his long curtains off his face so I can see the silent tears that have been rolling, I wish I could comfort him, I wish I could tell him it would all be ok … but I can't, I think as I head back to our dorm room, I can't because I don't know if we ever will be again.

It's been two long days since Remus and Mike's argument in the common room and they're still together, even though the atmosphere around them is a little tense. I'm still not hanging around with Re as much as before he went out with Mike or is that before I found out I was gay and in love with him? It doesn't matter all that matters is I miss him, and I was right going out with Mike was a mistake, even Mike knows he's in love with someone else and how come Mike gets to know and I don't stupid, bulky dirty blond freak, I mentioned the jealousy thing before didn't I? Their not here now they are 'studying' in the 'library' i.e. snogging or arguing somewhere. I am currently sitting on the common room floor playing chess with James, under normal conditions I would beat him easily, but my mind is elsewhere

"Siri" uh oh that tone is NEVER a good thing

"Do I want to know what you're going to say?" I ask him reproachfully

"Probably not" he says honestly, I can imagine how my face looks right now glazed over, staring at the queen, after a moment of silence, I look up at James

"Go on" urging him to get what ever he has to say over and done with

"I know who he is," James said all to cockily, I knew it wasn't going to be good and I was right, ok no need to panic

"You know who he is, what do you mean by that?" calm thoughts Siri calm thoughts!

"The guy that made the womanizer of Hogwarts gay" he's smiling cockily, his eyes on fire with joy, dam stupid prat, why do I put up with him? Oh yeah he's my best friend and is supposedly nice

"Do you?" I ask raising an eyebrow at him "Who do you think it is?" I ask him trying to keep my cool

"Moony" oh SHIT, he does know, my eyes do a quick sweep of the common room to make sure no one heard good all clear

"You can't say any thing!" this is not a question but a demand, he's still smiling like a prat

"Oh I won't, I'm going to let you and moony sort this one out on your own" god, he's such a smug git when he wants to be, its so much funnier when your not on the receiving end.

"Hey" a soft voice rings in my ears, I turn around on my chair to come nose to nose with Remus

"Hey" I say quietly back, he pulls back from me

"I haven't seen you around much recently" it wasn't a question merely an observation, his eyes look more hollow and broken that when I told him I new he was gay

"What can I say … I don't like Mike" blunt I know but I'm Sirius, even his hair looks more lifeless than it used to be, the honey highlights don't look as golden any more

"Sirius don't start" a warning from Re, he knows me better than that

"Don't start, Re if you keep going at the rate you are, going to end up sleeping with Mike or something equally stupid" anger is flooding my voice and I can see the hurt of Re's face but its mixed with irritation

"What do you expect me to do Sirius? Sit around for a guy that's as straight as you are, to come and tell me he loves me?" he's storming away as I whisper

"Yes" we keep fighting its all that idiot Mikes fault.


	4. Chapter 4

Silver and Gold

Chapter 4

It's almost Christmas, Remus is still with Mike, I would have thought that Remmy would have more sense, but I know he's being stubborn, sometimes I think he has more pride than me, I laugh lightly to my self he'd say that was impossible. James, Peter and Lilly are leaving for their homes, in a matter of hours. I don't know what Re's doing for Christmas, I haven't talked to since 'the argument', he's probably going home his mum always wants him home for Christmas, just like mine never does. I'm in the dorm room staring blankly at a book about werewolves, that I took out of the library a few days ago. I'm sat on the chair by the window, clinging to the big brown book like it's my last lifeline, my last link, I close my eyes against the bright morning sunshine, I breath in the sent of a new day and let out a sigh.

"What you thinking about?" I jump I thought I was alone

"Bloody hell James, don't sneak up on people" I turn to see James, grinning at me what's he so bloody happy about? He's not allowed to be happy when I'm miserable! His hair is messier than normal, and his clothes are slightly wonky, he's wearing a brown jumper that Remus' mum knitted his for Christmas last year and a baggy pare of blue jeans. How is he managing to look messy?

"You didn't answer my question" he taunts dam James and dam him never being able to drop anything, I just want to be left on my own form Christmas to get over my infatuation with Re

"I'm not thinking about anything" I know he won't buy it, but I have to try

"Yeah right, that's why your sitting here hugging a book with a look on your face that makes you look constipated?" was that even a question? He sits down next to the chair, which I am sitting on

"Oi" I say making a swipe for his head, he ducks my hand and laughs at my pathetic halfhearted attempt to hit him, folding my arms across my chest I go back to my brooding

"Seriously Paddy, you know you can talk to me" I go back to looking out of the window, watching the trees dance in the wind

"I know it's just…" I drift off

"It's what?" he encouraged

"Moony and Mike, I can't believe Moony is being so stupid and stubborn, he doesn't love Mike, and Mike's just a pushy prick" I turn away from the pretty scene out side, bring my self back to reality, where my hopes and dreams seem pointless right now

"Pads, you need to let him make his own mistakes!" Prongs takes a deep breathe "Your trying to turn his head around and make him love you, when he doesn't even know your gay, you guys should really sort this out over Christmas, you will have the whole place to yourselves" my mind is agreeing with Prongs

"What? Did you say over Christmas alone? I thought Re would be going home for Christmas like he normally does" is that panic in my voice, can't be nothing panics the almighty Sirius Black!

"Didn't you know? Re's mum and dad are gong to visit his aunt you know that one he doesn't like?

"No I didn't know, Marie isn't it" I'm staring at the carpet, which is a very interesting deep red colour

"Yeah that's it … so instead of putting up with his dratted aunt he's going to stay here, talk to him Sirius, for god's sake just talk to him" James is sounding a little drained and tired of the situation, I don't blame him so am I

"When are you and Peter leaving?" I ask meeting his hazel eyes with a pleading look, I can't believe he is going to leave me with Remus when everything is in such a mess, he knows I'm not good at saying sorry especially when I know I'm right!

"In about 5 minutes, Pete said bye already, he's off with Isabella" I grin, knowing what James meant

"Ok I'll see you in the New Year" James and I stand at the same time and I embrace him as if my life depended on it. It will be the first Christmas in 4 years that I don't spend with James, he's going to visit his mother's parents for most of the holiday and their not too keen on me, I relies James

"Bye" he says simply

"Bye" I whisper my last lifeline my single last hope just walked out the door, I'll have to deal with this on my own!

Later that day I went looking for Remus, I had to talk to him James was right, not that I'm going to tell him that! I look in the most logical place for Re to be the back of the library, I walked there slowly in the hope that I would think of something to say by the time I got there. He's sitting right in the corner, with his head bowed into a book, his hair is covering his face, which is being propped up on his elbow

"Re" I say softly, his head shot up, revealing his tear stricken face to me, I move swiftly towards him putting an arm round his shoulder, propping myself on the seat next to his shushing him gently "Re wants the matter?" I ask gently, my fingers caressing his shoulder, he rests his head on my shoulder the tears following freely down the side of his cheek

"Me and Mike spilt up" did I hear right, I know Moony's in pain right now but its really for the best

"What happened?" I think I know what happened, Re realized mike was a total prick that's what happened

"You know who I'm in love with someone else?" he asks, I nod "well I couldn't get him out of my head the whole time I was with Mike, and Mike new and he couldn't handle it" Re sniffs back his tears, only he could pull it off without making it look disgusting "I said to Mike that I was willing to let this guy be in the past" Re sobbed dam stupid Mike, my hand moves from his shoulder to his head, my hands slipping into his hair massaging his head and I gently resting my head on his "and then Mike got a bit heavy with me, he said that if I loved him at all I'd sleep with him, we got in a big fight, in which I told him I didn't love him and never could and so we spilt up" he cried "Siri" his arms wound around my neck bringing his body closer to mine "you were right about him, he was horrible" Re wept into my neck

"Shhh its ok Re, I've got you, I won't let him hurt you again," I whisper into his ear, Mike will be lucky if I let him so much as look at Moony again

"I can't believe I was so stupid" he breathes into my neck "to sacrifice the love of my life, you, for an idiot like Mike" HOLD IT DID RE JUST CALL ME THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE OR AM I HEARING WRONG?

"Re" he pulls away from me and smiles weekly "did … um …do you" grate I can't form coherent sentences. Oh well I was always better at show then tell, I lean forwards and capture Remus' lips with my own softly and he instantly replies moving his lips against mine, my heart is singing! We break apart the need for air too great, my forehead rests against his as I pant for breath

"It's always been you … you make me what I want to be" he whispers, I can't help but smile

Author's note: it's not the end not by a long way just the beginning!

This still isn't all of what chapter 3 was originally going to be (I'm saving the best bit for chapter 5)

Reviews are always nice and they give me motivation to work faster, although my chapter rate will become slower from now on as I'm going back to school 


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: I know I said I would update sooner but my pet Rabbit died and I was a little messed up about it! I've written the last chapter – I'm thinking there may be a possibility for a sequel? Depends on demand and how creative I'm feeling.

This chapter is the reason why this story is rated M, this is why I'm giving you a **_WARNING!_** I seriously don't want to get in trouble for this chapter! Slash, slash and more slash, through out this chapter seriously don't read it if you don't like!

Silver and gold

Chapter 5

Re and me have been together five days and those five days have been the happiest of my life, he completes me, I love him, I haven't told him yet but I do and that's all that matters. I sent an owl to James the morning after me and Re got together, I asked him in a not very nice manner if he knew that I was the one that Remus was in love with? To which he answered yes! James is a total monkey balls twat sometimes, I'm allowed to say this being his best friend and all! Any way, in the five days we have been a couple we've been inseparable, I love his warmth, I can't bare to be without him, he is the other half of me, he makes me whole. We haven't taken out relationship any further than kissing, it's good not to rush things for once and I want to show Moony I'm serious about him. I look over at my clock it's 12.33, we went to bed half an hour ago, re's nearly asleep next to me and I'm watching him sleep, its not weird I love him!

"Remmy" I say quietly to the nearly slumbering boy next to me, he snuggled his nose into my neck making me tremble with anticipation

"Paddy" he whispers, his breath brushing my ear, my heat is starting to pound in my chest

"You know I love you don't you Re?" I ask him slightly unsure of myself, his lips brush my pulse point, before raising his head so that his golden eyes could meet mine

"No I didn't" he says smile playing on his plush lips "but I do now" he leans into me and kisses my lips, pleasure goes down my spine and straight to my groin as he sweeps his tongue against my lips. Remus climbs on top of me straddling me hips pushing down into me I groan into the heated kiss my erection growing. I lift my hips up against Remus' desperate to realise some of the built up tension, our kiss broke abruptly the need for air to grate

"Sirius" he whispers on my lips he golden eyes shining into mine through the darkness "I want you" he breathes, "I've always wanted you" my love confesses. He pecks his lips to mine, he's panting slightly "Be my love, my lover, my forever" he beautiful Amber eyes are sparkling like liquid honey in the half moon light, he blushed slightly closing his eyes for a moment to let his eye lashes rest on his cheek before opening his eyes and taking my breath away, he's so gorgeous.

"Forever" I whisper to his lips before crushing them together I bury my hand in his soft hair, his head resting each side of my head as he leans into me.

"Take me …" he whimpers before nipping on my bottom lip, I groan, Remmy has stopped moving above me, I snatch his lip again and roll us over, pushing my love down into the bed he moans into the kiss and pulls back. I can feel his panting breath against my now sensitive lips, his eyes are rolling back in his head slightly and I'm smiling like a manic, my smile softens

"Are you sure?" he nods, I look down at his body he is wearing so little but its still to much, a baggy tea shirt and a pear of boxers are all that is in my way, I gently take a grasp onto the bottom of his tee shirt and pull it upwards and giggle as his gets stuck on his head. I kiss his neck and hook my thumbs into the waistband of his boxers his erection springing free as he thrashes around on the bed beneath me, obviously desperate for some form of release … it would be mean to leave him so desperate and needy! I kiss his neck sucking on his pulse point, his legs wrap around my waist as I run my hands up and down his legs, Remus' hands are in my hair drifting towards my neck and playing with the sensitive hairs he found there. His hand glided down my back, and loved the feeling of him touching my bare flesh, mesmerised by his hands on my body I only notice his hands have moved to my arse when he squeezes gently causing me to buck forwards. I moan against his neck, I looked down taking notice of his scarred body for the first time, even though the prefect canvas of his body was littered with imperfections it was beautiful and perfectly Remmy to me. I move down his body, kissing him above his belly button before licking a circle slowly around the button before dipping my tongue in then draping my tongue slowly downwards, I love the feel of Remus' soft fine pubic hair on my tongue, I'm glad that James and Pete are home for Christmas, I don't think they would have appreciated hearing Remus' moans! I pull back and come face to … um … face with Remus' painful looking erection

"Sirius please" he begs prettily, his eyes are closed and his straight soft honey blond hair is spread out on my pillow, his legs are spread with my head in between them, umm where did my boxers go? Cheeky little barstard!

"What do you want?" his eyes flutter open and his eyes lock with my own, his pupils are dilated with ecstasy

"Everything your willing to give me" well I can't do nothing now he'll think I don't want him and I really do want him!

"Wait there a sec" wand I need my wand, I spotted it sticking out of the trousers I had been wearing that dad, which I had tossed on the floor before getting into bed earlier, snatching my wand I hurry back to bed, Remus is watching me

"Why do you need that?" he asks looking puzzled at my actions, I put my finger to his lips and my lips to his erection, he moans softly as I lick the tip and guide it into my mouth, I suck on him lightly dragging my tongue on the under side of his erection as I bobbed my head up and down, his hips were thrusting upwards into my mouth, I used my hands to pin his hips to the bed before I stared to deep throat him. Bring my hand to join my work on Remus' erection, I massage the base, hollowing my cheeks I suck a little harder bobbing at an infuriatingly slow pace, as Remus moans under me. I take my wand and imbed the tip in Remus' entrance, I feel him stiffen, drawing back from him I whisper

"Shhh relax baby" its all well and good saying this when you not the one with a bit of wood up your arse, but I do need him to relax "lubearcus" I mutter, I had done some research into the charms we would need, Remus moaned as slick cool liquid lined his enterence, I with drew my wand pointed it at my own erection and said the charm again before tossing it to the floor. I begging to suck on Remus' erection again, feeling the tip brush the back of my throat as I insert a finger into Remus' tight opening, I didn't insert it all the way. Remus soon become impatient trusting back against my finger, I insert the rest searching for something, I reached deeper brushing over a bundle of nerves Remus' moaned begging incoherently thrusting and thrashing violently on the bed while I maintain my sucking. I don't want Re to come too soon but I need to keep him relaxed or this is going to hurt! I draw my finger out a little before inserting it again this time joined by another, this time I avoided his prostate, concentrating on his preparation rather than pleasure. I thrust my fingers in and out of him my own arousal driving me to the point of insanity, I start to rub myself against the bed to rid myself of some of the built up tension, thanking myself for not rushing this with him, I have to make this good for Moony. I with draw my fingers from him and he moans in protest I move up is body and hook is knees over my shoulders, my eyes lock with his "Re this might hurt … I'll stop at any point you want me to" he smirks and pulls me to him locking me in a passionate kiss we part and breathe deeply before I thrust into him, his eyes are wide, I kiss and lick his neck trying to get him to relax and release some of the unbearable tightness "Shhh Re, its ok come one baby" why have I taken to calling him baby? Maybe I subconsciously think it's relaxing? God its painful staying still when you're this aroused and in the person you love. He starts to relax as I whisper to him, he shifts under me but in the position, which I have him in, it's quite difficult

"Siri move…God I can't stand it" he said he's panting and we've barely started yet I guess I have been teasing him a little, I thrust forwards imbedding my self completely we're both moaning, I can feel my orgasm begging to build, I aim all of my thrusts as the spot I found earlier Re is trashing below me I could come just by looking at him, I keep my cool and thrust faster "Sirius" he moans loudly, I feel his walls shiver around me, I thrust deeper loving the feeling of Re coming around me, come spurts over my chest, but still I don't come, Re's eyes open and he looks at me questioningly. I continue to thrust into him hitting his sweet spot and he's soon fully aroused again, I kiss him my tongue sneaking its way into his mouth stroking and teasing him and I thrust into him at a inhumane pace, I'm now so, so close and I don't want to leave Remus behind. I kiss Re with all the passion I have he gives it me right back, I find his erection with my hand stroking and squeezing him in time to my thrusts, I brake the kiss I can't hold on any more, panting and moaning I lose my self in him

"Re" I moan before I come inside him he joins me instantly, I pull out and collapse on top of him "You ok?" I ask brushing his honey blond hair out of his eyes, his eyes flutter

"Siri, that was amazing…I really have to repay the favour sometime" he said curling my left nipple, I take hold of his hand and bring it to my lips kissing the back of his hand, I move lying on the bed beside him, I bring him to me falling asleep in the half darkness with Re half on me asleep also.


	6. IMPORTANT AN

This is **_ProjectShadow_**. Black's Crystal PC has had a hacker into it and a MAJOR Trojan virus. Therefore she might not be around for awhile. She says **sorry for any inconvienience caused.**


	7. Author's Note

I'm back with out the 3 virus' i had on my pc mutters about stupid brothers lost a few files in the process, so up dating is going to be a bit of a while away but I'll do my best to update as quick as possible

Bc xx


	8. Chapter 6

Author's note: I'm sorry its taken so long for me to get this chapter out but between school pc virus' and writers block (I also lost my plan of each chapter so am doing this one slightly blind) this is as soon as I could get it out… forgive me? Reviews please begs

Silver and Gold chapter 6

Me and Re have been together 4 months, 4 beautiful months, he's everything I wanted, how could I have been so naive as to not _see_ him before I did? Things have been perfect except Remus has been sick recently he said its nothing and just an abnormal effect from the werewolf, he hasn't been letting us join him on the fall moons either, but he seems to come back in one piece…

"Sirius" Re whimpers from his place on my pillow and long honey hair is all over his face

"What's the matter Re?" he sits up slightly he hair falling out of his eyes which are closed any way with his honey eyelashes resting on he cheeks

"I feel sick" he groans, he's been like this for months and insists that there is nothing wrong and nothing that Madam P can do, I smile softly at him sweeping this hair right off his face

"You always feel sick Re" not very comforting I know, but I'm hoping he'll get angry and snap and give me some information, his eyes snap open, and he's in the bathroom puking before you could say voodoo. Being the nice boyfriend I am I follow Re into the bathroom adjoined to our room, to find him bent over the toilet seat, heaving I kneel down next to him holding his hair out of his face and rubbing his back whispering soothing things to try and clam him. I'm glad its Saturday today, its been hell dealing with Re like this and trying to get to class on time "maybe I should go and get Madam P?" I ask him quietly

"Its fine, it will pass in a minuet," he says stubbornly and it does pass …

"Remus, what really the matter?" I ask him, I know this can't be normal, this sickness is not determined by the moon cycles!

"I've told you a thousand times … it's the werewolf maturing and adapting to my adolescent body," he said getting very annoyed his golden eyes boring into my own.

"Sirius" a voice sneered, I'm sure I know that voice from somewhere, I think turning to face the male person whom had just called my name … oh grate (AN: how many people would kill me if I stopped here?)

"What do you want Mike?" I snapped folding my arms over my chest in a subconscious defensive gustier,

"Nothing" he said smirking evilly, with a smirk like that he really should have been sorted into Slytherin "just wanted to ask you about Remus" my eyes narrowed

"What about him?" I don't know why I'm even humouring him, he's just going to wind me up and get me to hex him … just giving him a reason to hex me back really … but I'm Sirius I'm impulsive

"I was just wondering if he's stopped being a frigid little bitch since he'd been with you, not that it matters, have you seen how fat he's getting, given him too many dog cookies" ok … if Re was here he would have dragged me away saying that Mike was just winding me up because he's jealous, and he's right … but I'm Sirius I'm impulsive, forgetting my wand, I smashed my fist into Mikes still smug looking face, getting servile more punches in and only receiving one in return, before …

"Sirius Black" came a stern loud voice from the other end of the corridor which I had been walking down before I walked into Mike, I froze mid swing, turning my head to see Professor McGonagall … oops, stepping away from mike, mike walked towards Professor M

"He just attacked me Professor …with out cause" my head shot up, mouth agape staring wide eyed at Mike as he continued to lie to the Professor, paying no real attention to his words, I did hear something about detentions and house points though…

"Re" I say softly to the darkened dorm room, I've been in detention all day and its now 11, everyone seems to have gone to sleep early tonight, a lamp flicks on, on my nightstand, an image of Re sitting on my bed springs from the darkness

"Where the hell have you been?" he hisses, I guess he's mad

"I got detention," I said off handily, he glares

"What did you do this time?" I swallow, Remus never really was that understanding about my jealousness towards Mike Phillips … to be honest or lie?

"I punched Mike Phillips" another vice I can't lie to Re, his mouth drops open

"Why the hell did you do that?" I look at the floor "what did he say?"

"Nothing" I say simply, it easier for Re to be mad at me than to hear what his ex is saying about him, he takes my face in his hand bringing my eyes to meet his golden orbs

"What did he say?" he asked softly, I pull my face away from him looking down at the lush red carpet once again

"He asked about you … he said some things that made me lose it" I said quietly, his arms went around my neck pulling me to his warm body in a loving embrace

"Oh Siri" he sighed running his fingers through my hair "just don't do it again ok?" I nod nuzzling my nose into his neck and kissing the sensitive skin there, Mike was slightly right about one thing Re had put some weight on…

"Siri" a voice softly whispered in my ear, awakening me to the new day, I opened my eyes to a bright light groaning and burrowing my head into the person next to me, the person giggled "Siri come on I need to talk to you" that was Re's voice my eyes snapped open as I struggled to sit up in my twisted blankets, finally managing to sit up I blink serial time realising how close I am to Remus' face

"Morning" I say weekly, Re smirks in response, before I place my hand on the back of his head letting my fingers be consumed by his soft honey hair, and bring his lips to mine kissing him long and deeply, pulling back I smile

"Morning" he whispers with his forehead resting against mine

"You wanted to talk to me?" I prompt, pulling back Re's gaze is now glued to the nearest window

"Yes …umm, I have to go away for a while"

"What? Why? When?" I ask my boyfriend in confusion

"I have to go away, you know how I've been sick lately well your right there is something … wrong, I need to go away for a few months to sort things out, I'm leaving in an hour"

"Re" I call softly, bring him to my chest "why didn't you tell me?" he sighs into my chest not answering "let me come with you" I'm not sure if its really a question, it more a demand I can't bare to be away from him for months, he pulls back from me suddenly he looks alarmed

"No Sirius you have to stay" he said bluntly, I pout "look Siri this is just something I have to do on my own, I'll be back before you know it … I'll miss you too" he said leaning into me and taking my lips into a pleading and deep kiss, running his hands down my chest, pulling back from me Re sighs looking into my eyes, I see he looks sad almost broken, I want to fix him but I guess I'll have to wait until he gets back "I'll write, I promises" he pecks me on the lips I think I'm in shock "bye Siri" he whispers a tear leaking out of his eye

"Bye Remmy" I whisper to my boyfriends retreating back, he wrong, and I'll miss him more than he'll ever know, I already do.


	9. Chapter 7

Author's Note: ummm yeah long explanation for why this chapter is late, any way thanks for all your reviews keep that up I love reviews as long as they aren't commenting on my bad English skills… :D there has been a slight change of plan in the story – there are going to be at least 5 more chapters than the original 10 (with all the ideas I've been getting this story could end up any length right now) chapter 8 should be soon to follow I'm a ¼ way through it already :D

R n' R Please…

Silver and Gold

Chapter 7

"Siri" my name stirs me from my rest, I can feel breath on the back of my neck, turning over I am faced with Remus' amber and honey pools, staring wantonly into my own "hey babe" he gins at me teasing me daring me leaning forwards to capture my lips I close my eyes to blackness and the contact never comes…

I awaken, its just another dream, one of many that have been going around my mind since he been away, 3 long and agonising months. He has sent me very few owls in his absence, I get the occasional one with him reassuring me that he's fine and that he'll be back as soon as he can, more than lightly the end of year exams, which are rapidly approaching. I'm still worried though, I know something's wrong and Moony is keeping me shut out, but I know as soon as I start pushing him, he'll just close himself off completely.

Looking around the room I spot my clock on my bedside table, its gone 3 in the afternoon, I slept through my classes … shit! I roll over blocking the bright sunlight from my eyes with a pillow I have stolen from Remus' bed, I can still smell him faintly on the cover warmth, chocolate and woody so Remus like, so safe. In the distance I can hear faint running up the stairs getting louder with each passing second, the door bangs open I'm too uncaring to flinch or turn towards the intruder on my sanitary.

"Sirius" Ah James, but I have no interest of talking to him right now, so pull my duvet covers over my head, grunting and mumbling incoherently, I hear more running up the stairs, fainter and slower this time, that slow as they reach the open door. I'm too hopeful that this will be Remus, too hopeful to see him, too hopeful to hold him in my arms again, to feel his arms around me.

"Padfoot" I knew I had been too hopeful, bloody Wormtail, wondering what going on, bloody nosy fool!

"Leave me alone guys…Just leave me be," I say before snuggling deeper into my dark craven like cave, as I let seconds pass into minutes into hours and into dreams.

"Come on Paddy, it will be fun!" James exclaims, reluctantly I nod, it's just not as much fun when Re's not here to tell me not to do something. Today's prank includes; Snape and altered transfiguration spell (which would normally turn a rope into a snake) and an ice charm, but needless to say we altered it. The plan is to hit the 'target slime ball' with the spell and charm then run as fast as we can to the nearest hidden passage while one of use remains under the cover of the invisibility cloak and the other stays out of sight using 'The Map'.

"You remember the plan right? You have to stay out of sight, you won't have the invisibility cloak" I gave James an unimpressed look

"I know the plan James, you've been over it enough times – you really are taking the fun out of it-" I mutter the last part

"Got your mirror" I show James that I do indeed have my mirror by shoving it directly under his nose

"OK … Snivillie seems to be on the 3ed floor corridor, see you by the painting of Merlin once that task is complete." He winks, I grin,

Laughing carelessly in the hidden passage behind the painting of Merlin, James appears wheezing out of thin air

"By the way he was screaming, you would have thought that we' red turned his knob into a snake" I struggled to say through my laughter "it would have been a laugh watching him explain to madam P though" I giggle at the thought gasping for breath.

"But turning his hair to snakes, and falling on his arse unable to get up while his new hair was trying to bit him, classic" James said with a dreamy look on his face

"Classic" I confirm

"But Professor, it was just a harmless prank, I hardly think that 5 days detention is fair, especially when its so close to the O.W.L's" James complained to our head of house Professor McGonagall, begging with his 'innocent' eyes for some form of forgiveness as I kick him – we're in enough shit as it is with out him digging us into more, he never knows when to shut the hell up…

"MR. BLACK" oops… Should be playing attention

"Yes Professor" focusing on her instead of out the window

"Mr. Potter, just earned you another 2 days cleaning up potions, do you have anything to add?" the Professor questions, I turn to James and glare menacingly

"No Professor nothing to add"

"James, seriously I'm going to kick your arse" I scream at my best friend menacingly, we just left the Professor's Office and made it back to the Griffindore common room

"Look Paddy, I was just trying to think of things for us to do to stop you from moping around after Moony" I open my mouth to protest "Don't even try and say you haven't been" James adds in, I slouch against the wall

"I know" I murmur looking out onto the grounds through a near by window, all I can see is a sea of black with the moon, I see nothing but the moon. Slowly prying myself off of the wall of the common room I head off in the direction of the dorm room, unsure of where James is now, and not really caring, everything is a mindless blur between the stairs and arriving at my bed. I strip down to my boxers and perch myself on the edge of my bed, swimming lazily in my depressive state, Remus' bed is across from mine, the curtains to his four poster are mysteriously closed … they were open earlier … they've been open since Re's been gone all those months … I approach the bed…

AN: I know it's a bit jumpy – just supposed to give an idea of what went on while Remus was away (and don't kill me for where I left it)

Bc xx


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